Dating Ten Rules
Well, it finally happened. The implosion, I mean. Remember the "mother of all headaches" I had a few weeks back? The one I had yesterday and into last night (and still carry the vestiges of this morning) made that one seem like a baby. It was worse than the hormonal migraines I used to experience (and they were bone-wrenching). So, feeling a bit washed out this morning. Actually, I feel like a bag of white rice (you know, pallid, nutritionless and recently de-husked).
The way things were yesterday, I wouldn't be surprised if Mercury just went retrograde or something. Sheesh. It was so bad I called my ex for help. 'Nuff said.
Edit: Funny! I just checked my Cainer for yesterday and today. Mercury IS, in fact, heading retrograde! ROFLMAO.
Anyhow, enough about me.
There is a fellow at the
Lifeline we know as Kaenash. Kaenash and I have a bit of a chequered history, actually. Way back when I was a newbie, he did one of his "sense of humour" flames on me, you know, the ones that aren't really a flame but seem like one unless you know the guy better? I didn't know the guy better. All in all, though, I don't mind the K, actually I quite like him even if he IS a Libran. :-D
Anyway, he posted this a week or so back, and I liked it so much I asked him if I could post it here. he said no, so I decided to do it anyway. Kidding.
I put my comments and resonses in as well.
Dating ten Rules
I wrote this in response to someone who was saying that the way to get a girl, is to pretend you already have a girlfriend. Now bear in mind, this guy considers himself "The worlds sexiest man" his avatar actually says that.
So here was my response;
===
I think if the idea is to convince someone that you were dating someone else, in order to appear more attractive, you are basically starting off on the wrong foot.
Thats a big difference than saying someones blouse looks nice, when as a guy you could care less either way.
I think there is no simple set of 10 rules.
I think that based on your age range, and goals, that your methods have to be changing and you can't rely on anything as a simple or quick fix. That would be like saying "Here are the 10 rules of being a doctor" and that substituting for years of study, thought and effort that goes into being succesful.
Only through having a HEALTHY relationship with others, can you actually establish how to do it. Starting off with this elaborate hoax that you think will make you seem more attractive is not healthy.
Neither is calling yourself the worlds sexiest man, if you ask me. But then, thats just my opinion.
Yeah, a bit of a wank, really.
I said: I agree with the first bit (speaking as a girl hehe), K. Any relationship that's based in, or starts with a lie (whether the lie makes one seem better than or worse than one really is), is doomed eventually.
And, really, do guys really want to attract a girl who's only interested in "taken" men?
But then, if both parties are that untrustworthy, they deserve each other. ;-)
If I had to give some really high level advice, here it is;
This would be for adult heterosexual men;
1. BE HONEST, BUT...and there is a But here. Just like when you go for a job interview you don't scratch yourself and talk about your previous sex life with your last girlfriend, you must show an aspect of yourself on a date. Don't treat her like one of the 'guys' or say 'well I am just being honest, my last girlfriend liked it up the butt". No one wants to hear that on the first date.
2. Don't fix her problems. Women seem to love to tell you about some issue that seems to bother them. Apparently, we are supposed to just listen. I am still working on this one myself, and find myself wanting desperately to solve it for them. Just listen, and respond with "I bet that makes you mad, when that happens?" or "What are you going to do about it?" and try not to solve it, even if she asks.
Woohoo, someone who understands the concept, in theory anyhow. ;-)
Except I would say
unless she asks. Sometimes we ask for advice because we need it (at least, I do). Otherwise, we just need a sympathetic ear.
3. Don't ever complain about the cost of dating or whatever. If you can't afford to pay for dinner, don't ask her out. Don't bring it up, don't even mention the subject. Just be above it. If she insists on paying half or the check, thats fine, let her, but say "Do you mind if I leave a tip?" you will at least seem like you have manners. Its traditional that the guy pay, and there is no point even having a conversationa bout it.
4. Don't try to have sex or french kiss on the first date. The best thing you can do is be a gentleman. What you want to do before you start a 'fire' is to prime it. Take your time and go on several short and fun dates if you can, and then eventually when things are right, and you've primed that fire, you may be able to light it. Follow her lead, she'll let you know. By no means should you say "May I kiss you?" if its that awkward, and you aren't sure, then even if the answer might have been yes, it wasn't time yet.
Be patient.
Yes! There's nothing worse than feeling like a burden or being felt up when you don't really know the guy yet.
5. If you aren't up to the point where you are going on dates, one thing you can do is; Just try to look women in the eye as you pass them. Work on that. Walk with your head up and shoulders straight out. Nod and say "Hello". Practice that. Get to the point where you say hello to people by instinct.
This will help you in all aspects of your life. Do not do it to only women. You will find that you will eventually make it a habit. Thats important.
And smile. Smiles are good.
6. Don't complain about traffic and time, and issues. If you need to vent, get on the friggin internet and complain. Don't do it on a date or on the phone.
7. Every week if you can, spend even 10-15 minutes calling and talking to the person you are dating, even if this week she has no time. Make the effort to call her. The one thing you do not want to do is stay on the phone too long, because you have a long chance to put your foot in your mouth. You want to get off the phone politely, but within 15 minutes so that you leave her with a good impression. Wait until you are in person for the long conversations.
Yes. SMS's and emails don't count here, by the way. If you're interested in me, you'll want to hear my voice. Otherwise, well, he just ain't that into me.
8. Don't check out other women when you are with her. Thats really something you should get in the habit. You know what I am talking about. Eyes following someone. Its an instictive thing guys do.
I would've thought this was self evident, but apparently not. :-D
9. Smell nice. Try to not go nuts with cologne, but bathe and make sure you ask a question at some point like "What kind of cologne do you like?", after a few dates, you may want to get it. Don't rush out and get it.
10. Never ever, ever. ever, talk about your ex-girlfriends and past relationships. If she brings it up and its relevant to the conversation (for instance in my case, there is a custody question) then thats different. Don't talk about anything sexual you did with them. Thats just ridiculous.
I hope that helps someone. If not, oh well I tried. I think mine is more focused on once you have your foot in the door. Some of you may be working on that, and I think the only golden rule I have for you in that area is this;
--The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. So if you have spent your life doing basically the same thing, its time to think about a different approach. Flirt but keep it light and not sexist or full of innuendo. Whatever you do, try a different approach, because if this ones not working consistently then its the approach.
Fairly on the mark, really.
I'd add: if you disagree about things, that's OK (politics, sports teams, etc). There is nothing more boring in a relationship that agreeing on everything. We learn from each other that way. Caveat: If you do have a different opinion and want to discuss the differences, respect each others' viewpoints and person, even if you never agree.
I'd also add: don't suddenly "change" once the "dating" period is over and your "goal" is accomplished. Be who you are. Anything else is dishonest. If your opinion on male-female relations is that it's OK to put a cage around the other person (say, with your fists) once the marriage certficate is signed, be honest enough to say so. That way, if she still chooses to be with you, at least she did so with her eyes wide open. See: starting a relationship with lies means the relationship is doomed to fail.
Going now. I have a sudden need to throw myself into a tub of salted boiling water and cook myself. :-D
Bloggers Block?
Question: How do you know your writer's block is getting really annoying?
Answer: when you can't find anything to say for your
blog, for pity's sake.
Actually, I'm not writer's block-ed, in the strictest sense of the word. I have many ideas, and even get to the point of jotting them down for later so I won't forget them. I have about 4 different projects in my head at any one time that I'm actually working on at the moment.
That's usual, actually. I always have a lot going on up there, even when I'm blocked. My brain works like a multiverse, different threads all the time. It's hard to explain, but I can actually have 100% attention on each of 3 different things at once (yes, I
know that doesn't work mathematically, but it's the only way I know how to explain it). I know that this makes me seem rather.... distracted at times. Stupid, at others. Like, I tend to jump from thought to thought fairly quickly, and if I'm silly enough to verbalise what I'm doing (which, when there's usually no-one else to talk things through with, you tend to get in the habit of doing), then it's like trying to follow a freight train on steroids. If you understand this about me, then it's fairly easy to handle, just wait until I'm done with the verbal diarrhoea and I'll let you know the conclusion. hehe. if you're
really fortunate, then I'll actually hide the train of thought and give a definitive response straight up.
The advantages to having a thought process like this are that I can actually keep a lot of things on the subconscious boiler ready to go, and that I can think through the pros and cons of any project fairly quickly, given all of the information. The other advantage is that I can see both sides of an argument very quickly.
The disadvantage is that I can't turn it off, and if I have many things on the subconscious boiler and then find I don't have time to actually get them down in hard copy, then it tends to implode.
The analogy goes something like this:
Think "computer".
The conscious thoughts running right now = open windows. This covers stuff like, getting the kids' stuff together, the project/s I am working on
now, what I have to do today, dealing with immediate crises at home, etc.
Subconscious boilers = background programmes (you know, the ones running on your comp when you hit "Ctrl-alt-del" once). This includes working on stuff that ahve to do with the projects I'm working on now, future stuff, things I need to do soon, emotional things not yet dealt with...
If I don't shut down every so often, I run out of RAM and freeze up. Basic programmes won't run.
This seems to be happening at the moment. I'm not in a position where I can take out an hour to myself here and there just to clear my head. Even after the kids are in bed, I still have the "keep an ear out for crying child" programme running in the background.
Then what happens is you find you can't shut down.
Of course, the analogy falls flat here because in the case of background programmes, you can spend a bit of time shutting them down one by one or clearing the unnecessary ones from your hard drive. In real life, I tend to handle mental burnout by adding projects to my "hard drive" (brain), because a new idea or project will help things keep going on the other ones. Stirs interest, you know.
Of course, I'm in burnout phase at the moment, and as a result, I'm finding it difficult to get anything done. I spent some time with a couple of friends last weekend, which was great, and helped the processes somewhat (not to mention it's always great spending time with my friends. We'd planned to go see a film but ended up not doing that, we puttered around a bit, had coffee/lunch & good conversation. But it's not important what we're doing, it's the
company that is important, and Damon & Nicky are good company), but... my mind has gone all high maintenance on me right now. Like, I'm thinking that Nicky's idea of heading off to a buddhist monastery and spending a week in self-imposed silence would be a GREAT idea, if it were at all possible.
Ha ha. I heard that thought. :-P Not that it's impossible for me to be silent for a week (one of the disadvantages of having many children is that after a particularly bad day, when they all decide to be "off" at once, I get sick of the sound of my own voice), but it's impossible for me to go off somewhere for a week.
I also wonder if, if I'm not giving voice to some of the thoughts, that my brain wouldn't just go haywire and explode. I mean, literally. I think that's actually possible.
Anyhoooo, I've gone all "lazy" (as Scott would call it) with my writing again. Actually, for a week or so there, I hit "couldn't be bothered" level with just about everything. Not that I didn't do things because of that, you can't really get away with "couldn't be bothered" making dinner in this household hehe! Even with the blog, I actually opened up the "new post" page, then realised I was literally stuck and then thought "couldn't be bothered" thinking of anything.
I started this post four times, deleted whatever I'd done, closed down once and then decided, "no."
The first attempt was actually going to be a breakdown of the next air sign, Libra. Then I realised that every single time I've done one of these, it's because something I couldn't cope with mentally was going on in my life, and I was simply diverting my attention without realising it. Weird, huh. Also, my ex is a Libran (of the hypocritical kind) and I'd find it very difficult to be nice, let alone fair, right now.
Anyway, another friend of mine asked me to do a composite chart of himself and a... hmmm... how do I phrase this.... "potential possibility." Which I did. While I was there, out of a morbid sense of curiosity, I did a composite of myself and... er... someone else. And it was rather good, actually. Almost, can you say "terrific"? Like, even the bad bits (which were pretty bad) were bad in a good way.
So my second and third attempts were going to be on this discovery and how damned depressing that is. Depressing, because he'll never see that, and probably wouldn't think anything of it even if he did. And I actually don't place a lot of credence in the whiole thing anyway, despite the fascination (if I did, I NEVER would've married the first guy. The chart was spookily accurate there, too... disASter).
Then I realised that the person concerned, on the odd occasion (I discovered) actually does read this. Given the suprising accuracy of some of the chart I figured posting bits--not a good idea. This is supposed to be a big
secret, after all, right?
So you're stuck with only the...hehe, ramblings of my disorganised mind. Pun unintended.
Next time, I'm going to reproduce a post one of the Lifeliners put there. It was pretty good.
Cadged from Stu's blog
He thinks this is a bit of a load: I'm inclined to agree. Some just don't work. But anyhow....
1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (Name of first pet / Street you grew up on):
Brandi Hyndes
I've always liked this one. :-)
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (Name of your favourite snack food / Grandfather's first name):
Turkish Delight William.
Quoting Stu: "How many movies stars share names with snack foods? Really? Until I can get a Cadburys Nicole or a Smiths Gary, I'll stick with the "this meme is a bit of a load of shit" judgement."
My thought: Which grandfather?
3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (First word you see on your left / Favourite restaurant)
Canon Montezumas
Pity it's not my right. then it would be "Shakespeare Montezumas".
4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favourite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot):
Cinnamon Spain
I *think* that was my last foreign vacation spot. I was less than a year old. Must ask my mum.
5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied):
Flammage Canberra.
6. "FLY Boy" ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name):
H. Gen
7. ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen):
Dregs-of-coffee Water.
Heh? How many people keep sweet things in their lounge room or office??
8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favourite Baby Animal / Where You Went to High School):
Foal Holder
More of an action than a name, but never mind.
9. BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favourite Alcoholic Drink):
Biscuit Irish Cream.
More of a porn name, really. And a bit rude. Maybe "Biscuit Baileys" would be better.
10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name / Street Where You Live):
Margaret Noakes.
Hmm. I think my character is the town's stanch and pain-in-the-derriere teacher or unpopular school principal.
11. ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favourite Candy / Last Name Of Favourite Musician):
Hazelnut Chocolate too Many To Choose from???
Feel free to post your answers if you like. :-)
Oy vey. Kids to school now.
Sigh
I just wrote a full page rant that basically just mentioned how rotten, in general, my day was yesterday.
But when I tried to post it, blogger disappeared it. Then it logged me out.
Even blogger doesn't want to listen to me complaining.
Fortunately.... thankye Nicky and Damon.
The Perfect Answer to Illogical Political Arguments
Listening to: Dido's
No AngelMood: Itchy.
Blogspot has been chucking wobblies lately, I haven't been able to post. Pah. But anyhow...
You know how sometimes you're in a political/religious/marital/Australian-bloody-Idol discussion and you
know what the other person is saying is illogical, but you can't quite put your finger on it? Or perhaps you had actually just made an off-the-cuff comment that you never
intended to turn into a major producation number and you really don't want to argue right now? And you don't care who's "right" anyway?
Perfect answer:
Saturn's in my Romance sector
Listening to:
Footloose Yeah. Having childhood flashbacks this week. Oops, my age is showing. Not as old as you think: I grew into adulthood only this year.
Of course, that's in Hobbit years, but never mind.
Mood: Umm. Not exactly sure, actually.
Q: How many SF writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two, but it's actually the same person doing it. (S)he went back in time and
met themself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one's
shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox
occurred and the entire room, lightbulb, changer and all was blown out of
existence. They co-existed in a parallel universe, though.
Not much time today: I have to drive No2 son down to Brissy for his writer's camp.
According to all things astrological today, Saturn (Cap's Guiding Planet) is in my romance sector. Apparently with Mars (ruler of Aries) in the Scorpio space (even more auspicious because it just so happens my Mars is in Scorpio as well), this is supposed to mean Really Good Things for me in relationship thingies.
Might explain all the romantical novelling stuff lately, given how out of character that is for me.
Whatever.
So, LoveOfMyLife, whoever you may be and wherever you may dwell,
now is the time to say something, apparently. Flowers good. Chocolates Bad. Declarations of Undying Love always welcome. Phone call OK.
Hehe. Yeah. Right.
Sigh.
Going now.
I don't write Romance
Listening to:
Ultimate Dirty Dancing (singing...
Don't you feel like cryin'... Don't you feel like Cryyyyyyyin'...). Hehe. Sorry.
NaNoWriMo Update: Umm. Well. I am working on another project at the moment, though.
Mood: Fractrated.
Q How many mainstream publishers does it take to change a light bulb?
A Two. One to change the bulb and one to issue a rejection slip to the old bulb.
It's true. Contrary to some ribbing I get from some people, I don't write romance.
Before I say anything else, i want to state unequivocably that there is
nothing whatsoever wrong with writing romance, or reading it, or whatever. I read it. I crit it. I think Romance writers have a LOT to teach other writers about characterisation and close third person personal VP.
I do have relationships in my books. However, my argument has always been that what I mean by "I don't write romance" is that what I do write doesn't follow the normal romantic conventions (I won't say "formula" because that's misleading. The word has negative conntations and I ahve a great deal of respect for romance novelists). My statement comes more from the viewpoint of trying to explain why a particular market wouldn't be suitable to submit my novels to, as in wasting both the editors' time and mine.
By "conventions" I mean:
In any number of sub settings (paranormal, medical, flame, etc), Girl meets Boy. Girl realises she loves (or lusts after, growing to love, depending on the subgenre) Boy. Girl may (or may not) fairly quickly end up in bed with Boy. Heat ensues. Circumstances keep Birl and Boy apart for a bit. Girl & Boy come to their collective senses. Girl gets Boy. Boy and Girl happy. Reader happy. Author happy. Woohoo. :-)
The relationship I'm currently writing in the BethDane Epic Fantasy goes something like this (and bear in mind it's only an important subgenre of one of the two main characters that ties in with a Political Theme and a Quest, she says in a "justifying ones-self" fashion):
Girl loves BoyA. Girl gets betrayed by BoyA. BoyA a bit of a bastard, (but it's not, strictly speaking, BoyA's fault: he's on a different side and is The Big Bad, after all. I made him that way. BoyA hates me. BoyA should, considering what I'm going to do to him). BoyA disappears for a bit. Girl has BoyA's baby and swears off boys altogether for a bit. Baby grows up, gets taken (probably by BoyA, but who knows?).
During The Big Search, Girl meets BoyB and BoyB's adult son (who we shall call Bloke). Bloke falls for Girl. Girl falls for BoyB. Bloke and BoyB important to political storyline, in Massive Covert Rebellion against the Evil Overlord Intentions of BoyA. Girl unintentionally causes rift between BoyB and Bloke. For varying Questual reasons, Bloke and Girl must leave BoyB behind, just as BoyB declares his intentions towards Girl. On Quest, Bloke and Girl sleep together (in the, uh, biblical sense). Bloke thinks he and Girl made for each other. Girl not so sure. Girl guilty: still loves BoyB. Girl screwed in head. Bloke hurt. Bloke takes off. Girl carries on Dangerous Quest alone. Bloke follows in protective fashion. Bloke a decent bloke.
Meanwhile, BoyA and BoyB (who are, of course, Big and Intimate Enemies) have confrontation, and BoyA takes BoyB prisoner. Girl arrives at BoyB's Place Where He Does Evil Stuff with Bloke in tow just in time to see BoyB killed by BoyA. Bloke and Girl taken Prisoner by BoyA. BoyB's mind ends up in Girl's head (along with half the rest of the Cast of Players, it seems. Hmm. Don't ask how it happens, that's sort of a giveaway thing). Book One ends. Author Clueless that most of the Bloke stuff was going to happen when she started writing. Characters suck.
See, though, that's not Romance. That's bloody Days of Our Lives.
Yikeys. I hope the book reads better than the summary. :-|
Currently, I'm working on the first draft of a book that had its inception at
EnVision last year. It's a more standard book, stand-alone, that deals with Time Theorem Paradigms, Multiverse Theory and past life stuff. It's fun, I'm getting to use everything I love, and I get to research my butt off. Research is my life, I may have mentioned. Actually, unfortunately, it doesn't help my butt off at all, but that's another story.
However, it is a love story (but not, in fact a romance. Not even a paranormal one), as in the romantic element is vital to the plot. Actually, it
is the plot. Thing is, it don't necessarily have an 'appy ending. It may. I haven't decided yet. I guess I'll see where the Lovebirds take me. Characters suck.
The book is written from her VP in first person. I was happy with this until I started to write her kissy scene with the "modern" version of him. I had no trouble with the historical versions, but now I'm finding the contemporary scenes hard to write. A bit confronting. I suspect that I'll have to switch to thrid person, then just do a "find and replace" for the "she's" to "I's".
It's a bit silly, really, but I guess all writers get to this point over something.
Actually, I'm realising that I'm writing a lot of stories with romantic themes lately. I'm not exactly sure why.
Who knows, maybe I
will be writing a Romance novel next. :-D
My Friends Are More Talented Than I Am
and that's absolutely great!
Being a writer, then it stands to reason that a fair number of the people I associate with, online and off, are also writers. I thought I'd share the talents of some of them with you today.
First, some links.
A couple of the people I've already mentioned.
Chris McMahon
Scott Robinson's
NaNoWriMo Blog. have a look. Comment. Enjoy.
Cory Daniells, who was also my mentor (twice!) at
EnVision, an amazing lady, alsio with six children!
Marianne De Pierres. If you like cyberpuink, buy her books. I don't like cyberpunk, but I
still liked her books. :-)
Bard's Archive at LifeLine - poetry of the heart.
Caber's Archive at Lifeline - if you like a good laugh.
There are others (so if you're a writer and i haven't put your link up here, don't fret. It will happen), and I'll post more as I go. Today, I really want to share some of the stuff done by my friend from Singapore, Liz. I think I've said before that this woman is
good. She writes this epic poetry stuff that I wish I could write. Of course, I hate her. :-D
I had trouble choosing just one I liked, so I closed my eyes and picked.
The Once Honored Knight
Garedd, once honoured, Knight of the Green Tide
We were once one strength in Twenty,
So sad, you chose these faithful ties to break,
our stand was true, but Evil you let release
What use now your vows and constant tears,
Now that the skies have colours reds and greys?
What use is your news and sorries to us
when crows gather and rats a-scatter innocence?
Woe to thee! The sun shall fall into the sea!
And Darkness shall descend upon all our Land.
Crush thy kneecaps upon the steps of the'r catherdral
Utter thy last prayer, for carried here the prophecy
of Unholy War lasting Ten Years long.
All your future fears and hopes be gone!
2000 copyright E.Lim (posted with permission)
If you'd like to read the rest of Liz's stuff (worthwhile!) then her site is
here
Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to go and mutter off into the distance for a while. (hehe).
Oi Vey
Listening to: My compilation CD (see
here for more information).
NaNoWriMo Update: Heh? What?
Current mood: Bleh. Not really, really bleh or cranky bleh. Just bleh.
Can someone answer me something please?
Are
all blokes
completely freakin' oblivious???
Ge-orgeous Geminis
Off the top of my head, I know three Geminis that figure in my life reasonably frequently.
One is the now ex-editor of Australian sf magazine
Aurealis (Hi Keith!) and the other two are arguably two of my closest friends, one who lives here (Hi Damon!) and the other in New York (Hi Richard!).
Richard and Damon make me laugh sometimes, when I speak to them separately. They are two very different blokes from different backgrounds, but I find myself wondering, sometimes, if they are actually separated twins (excuse the pun!) because their interests and manner of speech are so similar.
Of course, neither of them would like hearing that, because Geminis want to think they are the ones who always take the "road less travelled". I like them.
Some can be asinine (like, for example, a Gemini I dated briefly in high school, who referred to himself as a Hooooolden Gemini, a type of car), but in general, they're chatty, witty individuals who are very good for my ego. Keith is good for my ego. He published my first SF article. :-D
They also tend to be very talented people who do think outside the box. And don't ever think of them as "air" heads. Uh-uh. Very cerebral, these blokes.
Anyhow,
Mystic Medusa has this to say:
Gemini is a Mutable Air sign; Light, breezy and deceptive as the wind. Able to lighten even the darkest situation via their sanguine presence, Gemini is an asset to any social scenario. Nobody fears being stuck with a Gemini in the kitchen at a party... just the bedroom.
Well, I don't know about
that ;-)
Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two, plus a portable phone, an internet link and a copy of
The Bluffer's Guide To Changing Lightbulbs
John Cainer says:
The Myth:
Geminis are supposed to be talkative types; always on the phone and forever doing deals. They are, allegedly, good at trading and persuading. They like accumulating trivial information and ask endless questions all the time. It is also said that Geminis are "two people in one" full of contradictions and prone to sudden mood swings.
The Truth:
Geminis are definitely busy people. It's rare to find one sitting still and doing nothing. They have active inquiring minds and particularly enjoy conversations that involve an exchange of information. Not all Geminis though, are gregarious. Some are reflective and shy. Nor is every Gemini a natural salesperson. Some have no interest in commerce. All though, are a little competitive. They can rarely resist showing someone else how a job should be done or a problem should be solved. As for moodiness, well they can be full of sunshine one moment and fury the next but then who can't? All that's unusual is the speed at which they can change.
The Key To Success:
If you were born under the sign of the twins, you shouldn't see yourself as a "split personality". You are simply someone who can see both sides to every coin. It's your ability to be flexible, to act on the spur of the moment and to ask the one obvious question that nobody else seems able to think of which makes you, such a powerful force in business... and such a helpful person to have as a friend.
Just remember to tell your evil twin that. ;-)
Today, Gems, The Moon is going into Libra, giving you a balanced, loving attitude (according to MM). I don't know what that means, actually. The Gems I know well-ish (for who ever
really knows a Gem?) are already like that.
Stronghold
Listening to: Enya -
The Memory Of Trees
NaNoWriMo Update: Nope. Nothing. Nada. Not a thing.
Current mood: Vacillating
Q How many copy editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A I can't tell whether you mean 'change a light bulb' or 'have sex in a light bulb'. Can we reword it to remove the ambiguity?
I don't write poetry, generally. I'm just not very good at it (see "Gothic Vogion Poetry ;-)). I used to write it, when I was in high school, but that was through the teen angsty stage. Everyone does that.
The exception to this is the stuff I'm writing for my BethNDane Books. (Oh, I haven't mentioned those. Those are the "current project" previously mentioned. Epic traditional fantasy--the ones I took to EnVision and sent to Varuna, to be completed for send out asap). I've written a lot of stuff for that. But the good news is, that most of them are in Barethian, so no-one can understand them anyway (unless you feel inclined to learn my almost-speakable language. No? No, I didn't think so. :-)). This is more of a blessing than you know, btw. Not being able to understand them. Hehe.
Hmm. By "exception" I mean, exception to the rule that I don't generally write poetry, not exception to the fact they're usually not very good.
However, while I was sorting out some of my old posts at
The Lifeline, I came across one I wrote in June 2002 (yikes, was it that long ago!??). It has some relevance to my last post, so I thought I'd put it up here. Don't worry, I won't do that often.
Original is
here.
Stronghold
So we create our walls
This makes us safe.
Safe from what?
Who thinks lost love
Hurts more than loneliness?
So we pull down our walls
This seems a risk.
Risk of what?
Who thinks the risk of pain
Is worse than lost opportunities?
Walls don't just protect us.
They bind us.
Pain isn't just negative.
Trevail brings forth the babe.
Pain induces strength.
If you've the courage to face it.
Bleh. I must be insane.
No... Touchy!
Listening to:
More Gladiator
soundtrackNaNoWriMo update: 500 more words this morning. Yippedydodah
Mood: Weirded out.
Q How many writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A "I don't see why it has to be changed."
Once upon a time, there was a Disneyesque emperor called Kuzco. Kuzco was a bit on the, shall we say, arrogant side. Some woman, who was scary beyond all reason but for some reason still managed to attract a congenial toy boy who cooks, turned him into a llama. Kuzco's method of dealing with any sort of affection was ... "No...touchy!"
What does that have to do with what I'm about to say? Very little, actually. However, it does say where I got the title of this post from and anyone who's seen
The Emperor's New Groove knows the wee tone it's said in. Noooooo....tuchee! hehe.
A friend and I went to see
The Village not that long ago. Reasonable film, I thought, worth a look, if you've the time and inclination and don't mind a bit of a slow-moving tale with some director's cinematic self-indulgence. Anyway, I'm not good with details, but a part of the story involves the growing love between the main bloke character, played by Joachim Pheonix, and a blind girl played by Ron Howard's daughter, whose name escapes me at the moment. i'm sure someone can fill in the details for me if they feel like it.
One of the themes running through the film was how people who
really want to touch each other just don't. This was exemplified twice during the film: once, between the JP char and the blind girl, and a second time through the girl's (married) father, played by William Hurt, and JP's (unmarried) mother, played by Sigourney Weaver.
In the younger pair example, she said to him (I'm paraphrasing, btw), "I know you love me."
"How do you know?" he asked.
"You used to lead me around all of the time," said she, "But now you never touch me."
"How does that prove anything?"
"You never touch the person you really want to."Hmm.
This has been playing on my mind a lot lately, especially since it was briefly discussed again by the same friend and me yesterday.
I've noticed this is true, in myself and others. I'm not sure why this is: perhaps it's a control thing. This concept that if you just step over
this imaginary relationship line, suddenly the other person will
know. And that would be a disaster beyond your imagination, of Phantom-of-the-Opera proportions. Perhaps it's unconscious. Perhaps it's a lust issue. Perhaps it's all of the above. I don't know.
The very first person I ever thought I "fell in love" with (when I was 15: we were talking
serious love stuff here, not just the meandering crush issues of a twelve year-old ;-) Didn't last: I realised what something "Real-like" was when I was 16/17, before circumstances meant I lost touch with the guy involved... but I digress) was like that. I haven't spoken to him in about a year, but as far as I'm aware, he still is. He told me once that he never, ever made "the first move". Except once, almost, but I'm not going into that (but for the record for any guys reading this: an offer of
car pooling because we happen to be going in the same direction does
NOT = "asking me out". And an answer in the negative (because the person may, in fact, not be headed in the same direction) does not = a rejection of said car owner. OKAY???? Sheesh).
And my point is... uh. Sidetracked there for a second. This fellow had a personal space the size of a barn. Yet he would stand
this close (like |-----------|) to someone he really (I found out later) liked. He didn't even realise he did it. He'd never touch though, and if "she" touched him, then he would act like he'd been burnt. Rather romantically stereotypical really. Thing is, he's never ended up with anyone who didn't move in on him first.
And he's never been completely happy with someone. After six different longish-term relationships, you'd think he'd learn. But no. He just takes it for granted that whoever he'd
really like to ask out wouldn't look at him twice.
The same thing happened with my marriage. The ex "settled" for me because he figured no one else would bother with him, ergo, I'd have to "do". Would've been nice to have known that at the time...Of course, that's made me somewhat gun-shy but that's another story I doubt I'll ever tell here. Won't be making
that mistake again, anyway. If the LOML (whoever he may be and wherever he may dwell) won't go to the effort to approach me, he ain't that interested. If he thinks I'm worth it, then this Phantasm of Probable Non-existence can overcome whatever fear he may have and let me know. So there. Ner ner. (hehe).
In my case, regarding friendships, I tend to try and suit how affectionate (or otherwise) I am with how comfortable (I think) said friends are with that. I am naturally very affectionate, usually. But while with one friend, I might be more touchy-feely (for example, Trevor, because so is he and he gives nice hugs), with another, I won't be. I tend to take my cues from them. I'm sometimes wrong, of course: someone may, in fact, be more open to (platonic) affection but I miss that. Then a habit becomes established...
However, when it's a LOML situation, I'm completely hands off, so I can really identify with the point the film was trying to make. Trouble comes when the other person is the same. Then you have that whole, well, golly gee, fifteen years later I find out you
were interested after all of that? Bug-
ger. Well, have a good life then. :-)
Although, I've noticed that isn't always the case. Example: a year before I met #1st LOML, I developed (more like carefully cultivated) a bit of a crush on another friend of mine. However, we'd been friends for about seven years and had rough-housed, etc, as kids, so the touchy thing was no big deal. But then again (I later realised), I wasn't really "in love" with the boy. You know how you tend to be expected to like
someone in high school? We just went with that, and it wasn't serious anyway. Also, a "relationship" had already been established--long-standing friendship--so it was no biggie.
I'm not the only one who does this, I know. Damned common, actually.
Complications ensue, though, as I've already mentioned, when there are two people who react that way.
See, I tend to think that "My-golly-gee-whizz-I-can't-touch-that-person-because-I-really-want-to-and-it's-too-much-when-I-don't-know-how-they-feel-and-it-becomes-too-important-to--" Breathe--"you-know-too-much-significance-and-I'm-a-chicken-anyway-etc," is not the only reason why people won't touch someone.
Sometimes, it's because they're not, in general, a touchy-feely person (and there's nothing wrong with that, of course). For whatever reason, they just don't express themselves that way, or they only do to someone who they're actually involved with, or they're a cold fish, or whatever. Maybe they have a thing about germs. Or my B.O.'s just really bad today.
Another possible reason is that they're actually creeped out by you, personally (no, I don't mean you, personally, I mean "you" in a generic, whoever-the-interested-party-is fashion).
Or they've picked up (or think they've picked up) how you're feeling and don't really like that and, although they would normally be affectionate to a friend, they don't want to give you the "wrong" idea... or hurt you, or whatever.
So the question becomes, then, for one or both parties, "Which?"
It's a predicament I have no answer for.
I wish I did.
Because the alternative seems to be spending years listening to half-baked deep-and-meaningful 1927 songs like "The Other Side" and finding out years later that your gut feeling had been correct all along.
And then repeating the same mistake.
Okay, enough already...
with the emails wondering WTH Mr Hervey was saying (see These historical fellers knew how to...etc post). I'll translate. Sheesh. :-P
Right. No guarantee I'll be as poetic as he was.
Original
My ever-new delight,
Knowing how kind a welcome all my scribbles meet with where they are addressed, neither heart nor hand can forbear, when any opportunity offers, to tell thee (tho' but the faint images of the former) how much I long to be in the place of this my harbinger, tho' perhaps thou mayest not see it but few hours before my arrival, which by the grace of God shall not be deferred one moment beyond Wednesday night; for all time's worse than lost that's spent where thou art not, thou only relish to all other pleasures. Tis you alone that sweetens life, and makes one wish the wings of time were clipt, which not only seems but really flies away too fast, for those that love (shall I be vain and say) like us; for that instead of breeding a satiety in either, (you see I answer for you boldly,) the common fate of vulgar friendships, does but heighten the vehemence of our desires for a more intimate (if that be possible) and lasting enjoyment of each others conversation and love. Ah! My dear, how I could expiate on this fruitful theme, were it not day-light already, which if thou knewest, I am sure, Pray, my dear, goe to bed, would be your request to, my dearest life, your faithful friend and constant lover.
J Hervey
My (inept) Translation:
Hey spunky,
Given that you really love my letters, thought I'd pen you another: couldn't resist telling you yet again, how much I'd rather be there in person. Mind you, the letter will probably only beat me home by a coupla hours... hopefully that'll be by Wednesday, for I'd rather be with you than wasting my time doing anything else. For only you makes my life sweet, and makes me wish time wouldn't pass so quickly when I'm with you. For those that love like we do (right?) can spend all our time making love and all it does is make us want each other's conversation and love more (sorry to speak for you but I figure you like it as much as I do; you're enthuastic enough). Anyhow, I'd say more, hunny bunny, but I haveta go. Go right to bed and wish me with you darl', I am ever yours in friendship and love,
J. Hervey, rolling in my grave even as we speak.
Satisfied?
hehe. 'Scuse the pun.
Gardening
I've been spending a bit more time working in my garden lately.
I actually moved into the house I now live at over two years ago, and attempted to personalise the garden a bit then, but due to time, marriage and other pressures I didn't get a lot done, and what I did do died in the drought. I haven't been too concerned about it: this house has been here for 20 years so there's a well-established Queensland garden here. For those that don't know, I'm in the temperate/subtropical border, so I can grow tropical plants (with some care) and English-style plants (if I'm careful where I put them). One of the parameters I used when looking for a place was that it wasn't too humid to grow roses without excessive Black spot sprays and it can be done here, if I'm careful with placement.
I was just about to put in some banana palms until my friend from Singapore told me of some of the ghostly tales attributed to the plants there, which are just terrific, if not a wee bit spooky. :-)
I used to grow veggies a lot, although not terribly successfully, again mostly due to drought. I was going to put one in this winter but my dam pump (yes, I mean dam pump, not damn pump LOL) went *pftht* and I'm not using the tank water for veggies--winters are dry up here and I had to get water trucked in as it was. However, my tanks are full, my pump is fixed, and the rainy season is upon us (read: storms :-D) and so I'm putting in new plants and looking to establish the veggies again.
I tend to mix veggies, flowers and herbs as well as using "formal" (well, at least separate) beds for things that need some space, like corn and pumpkins and watermelons. if you're careful, and good at it, and choose the right varieties of seeds, you can grow almost 2 tonnes of food for $20 worth of seeds. Of course, I'm not necessarily careful or good at it, but I'm getting there.
The thing that amazes me up here is that, because of the rainfall and soil temps, you can almost watch stuff grow. In Canberra (with its English-like winters), you put a tomato seedling in, wait 2 months, keep it protected from frosts or start them early in heated sauna thingies, and wait... and wait.... and wait... and if a late November (equivalent to June-ish in the NH) frost doesn't kill them you
might get a tomato by Christmas. Here, you drop the tomatoes that aren't fit to eat anymore to the chooks, and if they miss a seed, you have an edible tomato within a month! No exaggeration. Boggles the mind.
Makes mowing the grass a pain though.
Anyhow, last weekend I put in some Scented Pelargoniums. "Pelargonium" is the family that geraniums come from (you know, those plants that everyone's grandma grows in pots on the verandah). These are species pelagoniums taht have a scent (and taste!) in their leaves. They are varied, from rose, lemon rose, and apple through to nutmeg, cinnamon, chocolate and peppermint. And edible, so you can put, say, a few rose-scented leaves in the base of a cake tin and the taste goes into the cake (Turkish Delight-like) or use the lemon ones in iced tea, etc. Varied in shape and flowers as well.
I also threw in some species strawberries (including a yellow variety that the birds won't eat) and some lettuce seeds, and a sweet violet variety (I left 20 differnt sweet violets varieties back in Canberra). All under the frangipanis, a gorgeous-smelling plant I could never grow down south. And there's a Jacaranda tree in full flower as well--they have a beautiful purple miasma, and again, a tree that didn't grow in Canberra. The difference is, up here, you lose the Autumn colour but, hey, you can't have everything.
Those historical guys knew how to say "I love you"
Research is my life.
I have that tattoo'd on my forehead (along with "Don't Panic" and "Give me Caffeine NOW". It's crowded up there).
I found a site which has reproduced some olde letters written from gentlemen to their wives. Tell you what... *sigh*
The following was written by a John Hervey, First Earl of Bristol, to his wife Elizabeth.
He was no sap, either. He was a member of parliament for Bury St Edmunds and was created Baron Hervey of Ickworth, and in October 1714 was made earl of Bristol as a reward for his zeal in promoting the principles of the revolution and supporting the Hanoverian succession. Elizabeth was his second wife, and they had ten sons and six daughters.
Anyhooo....
Newmarket, 3 May 1697.
My ever-new delight,
Knowing how kind a welcome all my scribbles meet with where they are addressed, neither heart nor hand can forbear, when any opportunity offers, to tell thee (tho' but the faint images of the former) how much I long to be in the place of this my harbinger, tho' perhaps thou mayest not see it but few hours before my arrival, which by the grace of God shall not be deferred one moment beyond Wednesday night; for all time's worse than lost that's spent where thou art not, thou only relish to all other pleasures. Tis you alone that sweetens life, and makes one wish the wings of time were clipt, which not only seems but really flies away too fast, for those that love (shall I be vain and say) like us; for that instead of breeding a satiety in either, (you see I answer for you boldly,) the common fate of vulgar friendships, does but heighten the vehemence of our desires for a more intimate (if that be possible) and lasting enjoyment of each others conversation and love. Ah! My dear, how I could expiate on this fruitful theme, were it not day-light already, which if thou knewest, I am sure, Pray, my dear, goe to bed, would be your request to, my dearest life, your faithful friend and constant lover.
J Hervey
*sigh* They weren't big on full stops though, eh. :-) "Fruitful theme" indeed...hehe.
But, gee... " 'Tis you alone that sweetens life."
NaNoWriMo post
I thought I might post the first few paras of the new first draft, just for fun. Why? I don't know. I'm a writer. I like to share. :-) Please, please remember that this is a first draft and frist drafts tend to suck chunky chicken chips. Especially mine. I still don't have a handle on my main char. I get the feeling she'll come to me as I go.
Imbolc
Chapter One
Seasons come and go, as seasons do.
This was a season of new beginnings. The Crone withers and dies and begets in her end a new Maiden. The Maiden, in her guise as the goddess Brighid, disperses her light across the soil, using her willow wand to regenerate the lifeless land. The faerie folk step from their winter hiding places, spreading ethereal white spirits wherever they tread, heralding the emergence of Spring.
This was Imbolc.
#
Erica closed the door gently and didn't look back.
Why should she? She had no regrets, no desire to look upon what she had just cast off, no reason to wish things were otherwise. It was just another day, just another trip out her front door.
Except that today, it was no longer
her front door. And if she was to be honest with herself, Erica knew that the reason she was now walking along the path to her front gate with her head bent so far she could only just see where she was going was that she didn't want to look at the lavender bushes she had grown herself from tiny cuttings, or the violets that were just now starting to form bud, or the rose bushes she had lovingly tended for ten years.
Her grandfather was the first to hand her a small packet of seeds. Sweet Peas. One day, when she was about eleven or so, Erica had mentioned how much she loved them. The next year, her grandfather had grown double what he usually did, just so he could make sure there were bunches and bunches of those unassuming little flowers with the honey scent in the house, for as long as they flowered. And under his hand, they flowered long, and late.
The thought of that smell usually brought a smile to her face, but not today. Today, Erica was leaving the house her grandfather had left her in his will, along with the garden he had created, nurtured, and entrusted to her.
"Erica Jane," he used to say, "a garden is a part of you, of your soul. In your garden ye will find all manner of things, and they're not just the wee plants."
"I don't understand," Erica had said.
"Give it time, little one. One day, you'll understand. In the meantime, just grow. Live your life and tend to your garden. Look after it, child. It will tell you its secrets in due time."
Erica swallowed hard as she placed her free hand on her front gate. She couldn't bring herself to open it, though. It was too hard. This was more than a house and a garden she was leaving. It was her life: her memories. Her grandfather's trust.
"Ricky? Are you coming?"
Erica looked up, startled out of her reverie. She'd forgotten Brad was there. "Uh, sure, hang on," she said, juggling suitcase, shoulder bag and purse while fumbling with the latch on the gate.
"Try putting the suitcase down," Brad said, leaning against his car. "Might help."
Erica did as he suggested. "You could help."
"You're an independent woman, aren't you? Why would you want my help?"
Erica bit her tongue and let it pass.
He did take the suitcase from her, though, as she approached the car, and swung it lightly into the trunk. "Hop in. We have a forty minute drive to my apartment--sorry,
our apartment--and I'd like to get to the motorway before dark."
"Just a moment," Erica said.
"What's the problem?"
"I don't know, I just--" Erica couldn't put how she felt into words. She was absolutely sure Brad wouldn't understand, anyway.
"Well, come on, then."
Erica shook her head to prevent tears from forming. Brad hated it when she cried, especially for a stupid reason like leaving a house. A house was only a
thing, after all. She got into his car.
"Right then, Ricky-love," Brad said, looking over at her and smiling brightly. "Off we go."
Erica hesitated for a moment, then stole a look over her shoulder as Brad started to pull away from the curb. One last look at her home. Then she saw...what
could she see? What was that?
"Wait! Stop!" she said.
She was thrown forward slightly as Brad stood on the brakes. "What? What is it?"
"I thought I saw..." Erica's voice trailed off. She wasn't completely sure what she'd seen, so how could she explain it to Brad?
"What? What did you see?"
Erica looked into Brad's eyes and saw his impatience. No, she wasn't going to risk ridicule. "Nothing," she said, sitting back into the leather seat. "Nothing. i was mistaken."
Brad grunted, then took off faster than was necessary.
Erica closed her eyes and pretended to doze, trying to prevent the sudden influx of emotion that poured in, hurting her chest. She pressed her lips together. She had seen something, but she doubted herself too much to give it voice. It was impossible.
For she thought she had seen a figure, in amongst the roses, spreading her hand gently over the clambering rose Erica had planted the year her grandfather died, the one that grew more strongly strongly and produced more grey-pink blooms every year than any other rose in the neighbourhood.
It was a woman, tiny, no more than four feet tall, evanescent, sentient, ghostly. She'd smiled at Erica.
And then she disappeared.
(end)
The Final Fire -- Super Sagittarius
Well, I figured that, since I'm having a bit of a block on my novel(s) right now, and I don't feel like cleaning, I'd round off the fire signs, given that I've already done Aries and Leo it only seems fair to write up a bit on the Sag, right?
I even managed to do them in alphabetical order. And date order. Wasn't intentional.
It's appropriate, anyway. Mercury, that little old communicator, enters Sag today. Mercury in Sagittarius is all about The Big Questions and What Is It All About?
Sagittarians also figure largely in my life. My mum is a Sag. So is number 3 son. And three terrific people I know, the aforementioned Lindsay from the UK (Hi Linz!), an old and dear friend, who I've known since #2 son was 6 months old, Lisa, and Chris Mc, are also Sagittarians. Chris is an extremely talented writer and a Very Nice Bloke (with "nice" meant in its pure sense, not in the I-have-no-other-way-to-say-this-so-nice-will-have-to-do sense). His website is
here, if you'd like to see it.
Mystic Medusa has this to say about the Sagittarius:
Sagittarius is a Mutable Fire sign; Fickle, fiery and poetry in perpetual motion. Spunky, broadminded and sensational at having fun, Saggo is the most adventurous sign of the Zodiac. The ick factor? Think 'full of merde' and thundering tactlessness. Everyone adores them regardless.
Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out light bulb?!
Now, now, be nice. hehe. Saggies are, in fact, a lot of fun, I've noticed. Tactless? Not always....:-)
Cainer likes the Sag a wee bit better:
The Myth:
Sagittarians, so they say, are bright, breezy, bouncy types who never let anything get them down. They are all "jolly-hockey-sticks"; totally tactless and insensitive but full of energy and enthusiasm. Supposedly, they love competitions, always look on the bright side, see everyone as a friend and are suspiciously fond of horses. hehe hee! This actually very much like #3 son. he has more energy than anyone I know, a mind that needs to be constantly diverted, a competetive streak that borders on the insane and really likes his horses...
The Truth:
This is all a bit unfair. Sagittarians are perfectly capable of being grouchy and grumpy. They can summon plenty of lethargy and cynicism when they choose to. They can also be very delicate, diplomatic and deep. It's just that, because Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter - the planet of hope - they can never quite silence an inner voice of optimism. Events may reduce it to a whisper for a while but it always returns to a roar, the moment they spot a possible solution to a problem. Sagittarians are idealists who want everything to be wonderful. They are also extremists who hate half measures. For them, it's either gung ho or no go. And as for the horses? Only some of them, sometimes!
The Key To Success:
To be a Sagittarian is to be surrounded by serendipity. Rarely do you have to go in search of anything. It naturally comes to you. Or, at least, it does as long as you know the difference between trusting your luck and pushing your luck. When you strive, you stumble. When you make the most of what's on offer, you get magical results.
By the way, Saggies, the moon is moving into Leo today, great for adding fire to your creative pursuits, particularly writing. So, with the moon in Leo and loquacious Mercury in your sign, there's no excuse. Hop to it then. :-)
URST
I don't like it.
Nothing else.
The Lone Wolf
From news.com.au today:
Trend goes against herd mentality
By Roberta Mancuso
November 3, 2004
PEOPLE living alone are more likely to suffer mental and emotional problems because, like cows and dogs, humans crave social interaction, a researcher says.
Brisbane's Griffith University sociologist Bill Metcalf said yesterday humans were social, or herd, animals that from birth had an intense need to belong to a group.
He said the growing trend towards single-household living was creating lonely, isolated people who were less likely to feel as valued and secure as those living in groups.
"Community living is a natural phenomenon - it's like breathing and sex and eating," Dr Metcalf said.
"When we are not in community we suffer the way that a cow or a dog suffers if it's deprived of interaction."
Figures from the Australian Bureau of Statistics show that of the 7,072,202 households counted in 2001, those who lived alone accounted for 22.9 per cent (1,616,213). That proportion was up from 22.1 per cent in 1996.
ABS projections also show that there could be as many as 2.4 million to 3.4 million people living alone by 2021.
Dr Metcalf said living alone was likely to foster feelings of isolation and depression in a person, and blamed single household living as the root of some of society's problems.
"You're far more healthy living with other people than living alone, no matter who you are," Dr Metcalf said.
He said his latest book, The Book of Community Living
, explored how members of "intentional community living" groups across the world experienced increased life satisfaction and decreased suffering.
He said these people deliberately set out to create an "ideal society" by immersing themselves in communal life.
The Courier-Mail
Yeah. His findings don't surprise me a bit, actually.
I have thought about the term "Lone Wolf" for a while.
Who is the Lone Wolf? A bloke--usually--who is strong, independant and emotionally aloof, who will see through the trials of adversity without anyone's help, thankyou very much, and will shun the love of a Good Woman for "her sake".
(Yikes, that's a whole new annoyance. "I love you but--" start crappy soppy music here-- "it can't be because I would do too much damage to you with my awfulness." What's with that, anyway? Are women just too stupid to make informed choices about whether to love a man who may be not what he wants himself to be? Why not just tell her the reasons you think you're not good enough for her and let her decide? And then just NOT decide to prove her wrong? Become the man you'd like to be? Sheesh. It's just an excuse. Get with the programme and be honest enough to say "I love you but not enough to change what I think are my rotten habits so I don't actually hurt you with them. Sorry." It's a lot better than "Hey honey. You're too stupid to see the downside of me and I don't think enough of your intelligence to allow you that choice." Grr. No, this hasn't happened to me -- people don't "fall in love" with me, I'm not the type. Happened to a friend, though. Bloody annoying).
What was I saying? Why do I say that so often? Disorganised mind, anyone...?
Umm. Lone Wolf. Think Clint Eastwood (argh!).
Whoever coined this phrase didn't know much about wolves. Wolves are pack animals, and rely on each other to survive. They mate for life.
Lone wolves DIE.
Hmm. Maybe whoever coined the phrase
did understand what they were saying. Think about it.
School time again.
NaNoWriMo update: words written: none, of that project. But I started another new, related one. 500-odd words of that. Go figure. Title of last book: "Imbolc". Title of new book: "Beltane". Titles of two new planned books for this series (who also have 500-odd words to their credit each): "Lughnasa" and "Samhain". I'm sure you'll see the relationship. :-)
In The Clear Light of Day
You know, I actually quite like this one after all (umm, see the Gothic Poetry post):
stolen emotion
what have you wrought?
a miasma of chaos as sentiments writhe.
once we drank of wonder,
untainted and open,
but your thirst perished.
a feverish morass of darkness -
memories follow death, follow pain,
love burnt to ashes.
in a torrent of tears,
i see you.
I think I'll keep it. :-)
NaNoWriMo, surprisingly
I mentioned NaNoWriMo in a previous post, but for anyone who hasn't seen (or couldn't be bothered looking for) said previous post, it's National Novel writer's Month right now. Basically, the brief is to write 50,000 words of a first draft (no editing allowed) in a month. In a 30 day month. That's... uh... an average of... forget it, I'll get my calculator... 1666.66666666666666666666 (repeater) words per day. I guess I'll settle for 1666 a day and 1667 words every 3 days or so. hehe.
I had absolutely no intention of doing it this year. My 12 year-old (who was then 11) and I did it last year and he beat me 20,000 words to 0. However, I was lying in bed last night, musing over my terrible gothic poetry (hehe) and an idea that has been running around my brain for the last month or so suddenly coalesced and BAM! 4,000 words.
So guess what, ma, I'm writing a new novel. :-D
And it has nothing whatsoever to do with my current project.
Umm, for the record, that's ms pages, not MSWord count. For the uninitiated, ms pages are based on spaces (actually figures, but that includes spaces) per page not the exact number of actual words. The reason for this is that an editor is more interested on how much paper it will take to create any given book, or how much space in the periodical a short story will take. So, one ms page, written in 12-pt Courier, double spaced, with 1 inch margins, and paras indented, is considered to be representative of "250 words". There probably won't be 250 actual words on that page (there could be, if the author is prone to long descriptive paras, but that's not me at all, I tend to have two talking heads with very little scenic reference in my first drafts), but that's the way it is. there could be as few as 100 words on a "250 word" ms page.
So, what's the book about? Well, I'm not actually sure. I have a vague idea, but I'm sure it will come to me as I go. This time, I really do have a sense of scene, and I expect it to be rather dark, a wee bit different from my usual fluff. But we'll see.
Wish me luck.
I'll probably need it.
Darkly Gothic Vogon Poetry
I can't write it. Probably not surprising, given my non-goth tendencies. Not that there's anything wrong with gothic, or goth-like persons. In high school, I think I would've liked being a goth, but black hair just doesn't go with my complexion (sure, my skin is fair enough, but the freckles would spoil somewhat), and i think I would have given my mother a heart attack. Not to mention my dad. He had a fit when I got my ears pierced. Can you imagine what would have happened if I'd dyed my hair black and worn copious amounts of eye makeup? Yeesh.
(I am going to say, for the record, that my parents weren't overly strict. They weren't overly lenient either--at least not to me. And I get on very well with both of them now).
But I did read a lot of Poe and Lovecraft in Yr 11.
I found this
Gothic Poetry generator and thought I'd give it a whirl.
They actually match my mood right now, anyhow.
So (she says brightly), here are some examples of My Very Own Darkly Gothic Poetry.
The Supernatural Violence & Horror Darkly Gothic Poem
Phantom Pain
Around, all around, the shadows gather.
My dread grows as the stroke of death falls against my naked soul.
It mutilates me, and darkly my
vitae drips
to the fallen despairing leaves.
In unholy terror I call your name
while nothingness surrounds me.
Now alone, my essence falls upon uncaring eyes.
This is your love
The Feeling Very Sorry For Myself Darkly Gothic Poem
Devoid of Love
the night falls in a heavy, suffocating cloak, cold and alone are we.
the understanding for which you sacrifice yourself
flares once, then dies,
smothered by a velvet ebon nothingness.
all hope must fail.
your heart desires no more.
how could you not understand?
shadows surround us, crying,
we are fallen.
And last, but not least:
The Black Abyss of Righteous Hatred Darkly Gothic Poem
stolen emotion
what have you wrought?
a miasma of chaos as sentiments writhe.
once we drank of wonder,
untainted and open,
but your thirst perished.
a feverish morass of darkness -
memories follow death, follow pain,
love burnt to ashes.
in a torrent of tears,
i see you.
Oh, and as a final word, here is my piece of
Vogon Poetry:
See, see the lime green sky
Marvel at its big puce depths.
Tell me, sweetheart, do you
Wonder why the dryad ignores you?
Why its foobly stare
makes you feel asinine.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your kesnickered facial growth
That looks like
A anchovies.
What's more, it knows
Your turgid potting shed
Smells of frog.
Everything under the big lime green sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm goat droppings.
:-)
