Congratulate me
Today is the first anniversary of my divorce being nisi'ed.:-D
I guess it seems strange, to some, to be celebrating what seems, on the surface, to be a "failure", but anyone who has been reading here for a while will understand why.
Oh, and since I was offline, I didn't say: my property settlement finally went through - in January (you may recall my post last August saying it was finally done? Uh - nope. Long, boring story). Hoi vey! Talk about rigamarole.
Edit: Thankyou for my e-card, Nicky!
posted by Heather @ 8:34 am
5 Comments:
Nisi'ed?
What?
Hi Tessa!
A divorce goes through 2 stages, court-wise (stages is the wrong word but my brain isn't working properly, again).
Once you put in the application, a court dtae is set. Barring any complications, on that court date, the judge declares the divorce valid -- like "I now declare you ex husband and wife". They don't say that. They should -- and you are issued a "decree nisi". As of that date, you are legally divorced, but you haven't been given the certificate yet. One month and one day later, they declare a "decree absolute" and you are done and dusted.
The reason they do this is so that the couple concerned can change their mind at the last moment (you know, maybe the sadness involved makes them reconsider?). During that month and day, they can apply to have the divorce declared null and are still married. After the decree absoulte, though, if the couple change their mind, they have to actually legally remarry.
Clear as mud?
In my case, I went to court, got my nisi, thought "yayster!!!", went to lunch with 2 of my best friends (one came to court with me and gave me a lovely divorce card) and never even for a moment though, "gee, I'd like to change my mind now."
Harsh, perhaps, but, then, so was fiften years of he.
I'm really surprised that anyone would make the decision to get (a) married and then (b) divorced lightly. The law is set up for that, though - there seem to be all sorts of "are you sure? Really sure?" thingies built in.
My situation is different enough to yours that I'm not going to greet the nisi with elation, but still - I've no intent on going back.
Understand.
I think it's much easier to get married than divorced. I'm not saying it should be harder (necessarily), mind you, but the whole 1 year separation then the court battle thing for divorce simply makes what is already stressful worse.
Well it somehow seems wrong to say congrats, even though I think for you I can understand why you feel happy.
But I'll just say, I'm glad you're here and I'm glad you are happier now than before. :)
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