The Ramblings of my Disorganised Mind

Looking on the bright side

"It is an ill wind that does nobody any good," as they say.

As a result of not being so well, I am 6 kilos lighter than I was a week and a half ago (not including the 2 kilo fluid/glycogen store that will go back on the minute I start eating normally again). 6 kilos of fat--an almost noticeable amount on my hefty frame. Liz, I'm now about a kilo lighter than when you last saw me, just fyi.

Not that I can say I look alot different, although my daughter (aged 8) did come home Sunday night and said seriously, "Mum. You've got to look after yourself. You're losing weight too quickly."

I must say I agree with her, but I'm not exactly trying to drop weight. It's just happening as a side effect of my body regularly raising its temperature (and therefore, its metabolic rate), to try and counter this bloody infection.

And, as I said to her, it's for times like these our body stores the fat in the first place. For the first time in many years, it's actually doing what it's supposed to in a "crisis": it's utilising its stored resources instead of trying to out-source for more (ie, I am not overly hungry, except I'm craving fresh citrus, mandarines, in particular).

All in all, it's probably a Good thing that I can't go to EnV (even though doc says, so long as I'm rugged up, it'd probably do me some good). This is now purely bacterial, and the virus that started it all is going around (as in, everyone's had it), but I'd hate to pass it on. Last year, I had a gosh-awful cough as well, which actually wasn't the result of a cold at all but had to do with that heart thing I mentioned a while back, but just about everyone got sick afterwards, and guess who got the finger pointed at them? there were, in fact, others there who weren't well but they were quieter about it hehe.

I'm not actually on antibiotics at the moment, mostly because the "yllin" they wanted to give me rendered me practically incoherent the last time I took them and one of the known side effects is suicidal depression (strong medication, apparently). My doctor seems to think that would be too much of a risk in my case. I mean, hey! I'm not suicidal! I haven't even got to "depressed" yet! Well, no, doc concedes, but these things might just put you there, all things considered. Fair enough. Back when my ex had a major infection, he was given the same meds. He ended up breaking down--literally--at work on the things.

And the penicillan group not for me, either. They always give me a rash. Turns out, just like number 2 son, I'm mildly allergic. Who knew? And anything else is too mild and wouldn't work so would just add to the "superbug" problem. Despite the fact I've taken one batch of antibiotics on the last ten years (and that batch didn't work, anyway), its the fact that antibiotics used to be handed out like lollies that have rendered them majorly useless now. So I actually don't mind not taking them. I've never liked taking them, so it's nice to have a couple of "excuses" not to *big grin*

But back to my rapidly shrinking torso. I thought it was muscle mass, or at least partly, but it seems not. All three "usual" measurements (waist, hip, bust) are good points to check for weight loss because in very overweight people that is where most of the fat resides. I still can't "see" any loss, so I pulled out the tape measure. Well, at least I know, now, why my pants don't fit any more. The scales haven't lied. Since Saturday week ago, I have lost 5 cms off my hip measurement, 4 cms off my waist measurement and 1 cm off my bust measurement (which means, effectively, my body's been scavenging belly fat, I reckon. Not to mention that all this coughing is like doing constant tummy crunches. Ouch). I am now 29 kilos off my goal weight (and before anyone gasps at the "to go" amount, that would take me to a healthy, heaviest weight-for-height for someone of my bone structure, around size 14).

On clothing sizes, though, I do have a bone to pick. I mean, apart for the fact that there is very little good quality, inexpensive clothes for anyone over a size 16 around, never mind the fact that most of the female population in this country is a size 14 or higher, once you do get to the bigger sizes, there's an enormous (s'cuse the pun) gap between sizes. Down in the 12s, 14s, etc, there's a 5cm measurement jump between sizes, but when you get up to size 18, there's a 15cm difference betwen size 18 and size 20. What that means is, when you do lose weight, you're stuck with baggy clothes that are way too big or a size that looks like you're trying too hard because it's just that little bit too tight yet. I actually fit comfortably into those size 18 pants now. But they sure don't look comfortable on me, because they're still visually tight across the derrierre.

Hmm. I could get obsessive about this.

posted by Heather @ 11:30 am