Monday, March 27, 2006

So Busy I Could...

Yeah. Actually, so busy I can't.

So, I don't have time to go into why I'm so busy (but see here for more info), but wanted to say a few things.

First, congratulations to one fellow on his new job and Happy First Day.

Secondly, to a certain individual I was talking to on the phone last night, *hugs*

Thirdly, a quote from Jonathon Cainer's site today:

A fascinating article in the latest edition of the New Scientist describes 'gravitational corridors' between all the major bodies in our solar system. These work rather like underground tube lines. They form a network of shifting, invisible tunnels that could allow space ships to travel using very little energy. Jupiter, apparently, is a 'central station' in this system. All this is fact, not fiction... and to me, it is a real revelation. Until now, sceptics [sic - it's "skeptics", because a c before an e, i or y always says "s", but I like Jonathon's version better hehe] have always insisted that no such connections exist... and that this was one reason why there could never be any logical basis for astrology!

From an astrological and "sci fi" viewpoint... interesting. I'll need to find that article now.

Fourthly....

*whimmmm---peeeerrrr*

Bye.

See everyone after Easter, if not at the Con itself!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

The Curse of the Little Thunder Bunnies

Right.

Anyone who knows me well knows that the (main) reason I've been offline for so long is because my computer's motherboard died. What I haven't mentioned before (even in the excruciatingly long and boring email I sent out to people with my computer-related woes on it) was that the reason I wasn't able to fix the non-functioning fan problem that caused my mother board to overheat and fry itself was that my washing machine ceased to function.

It would, you know, fill up with water, and drain water but the spin was gone. Of course, I didn't find this out until I'd tried to wash a full load, and that meant handwashing and rinsing the humoungous load I'd tried to wash, but that's another story.

You can imagine what it would be like in my house without a washing machine. As it was, I had to wait for it for a week while I got the funds together, because, of course, this is pre-actually-got-my-money-property settlement.

I had to prioritise.

So the computer was sacrificed on the altar of making sure the kids had their school uniforms.

While I was waiting for my property settlement, and therefore, my new computer, my still-under-warranty jug ceased to function. This is a Bad Thing. No jug = no coffee, until I bought one of those little milk saucepans to boil water on the stove. It was cheaper than fixing the jug.

Come to think of it, buying a new jug was cheaper than fixing the jug. Which is what I did, as soon as I could.

So, then my funds came though and I bought my new computer.

A week later, my home phone ceased to work properly. The line was okay, but, while people could hear me just fine, I couldn't hear them approximately half the time. This led to a couple of interesting calls from my mobile to my children (who couldn't hear me), but, again, another story.

No worries, thought I, I've been meaning to get a hand held. So I did.

Then my printer started to play up a couple of weeks ago, not 2 days after the new phones were installed. It didn't die, exactly, but it had moments of definite non-workyness.

While it was deciding what it would do, last week my vacuum cleaner (also less than a year old) carked it. I bought a new one 2 days later (that was last Thursday, I believe).

Yesterday, my printer finally haemorrhaged and was no more. Fortunately, as I'd seen that coming, I do have a brand new printer, which I haven't actually had time to install yet. It's still in its box.

Now, as a signed, sealed and delivered member of the official human race, I do have moments of paranoia. As a result of this, part of me has been wondering if this is, you know, just a little bit personal. An electronically-based conspiracy, out to get little old me.

Of course, I didn't actually believe that.

So. Today, my stereo stopped functioning. Permanently and dramatically.

Well, I guess it's not paranoia if it's really happening, right?

I've decided there's only one thing left for me to do.

I'm putting money aside for a new fridge.

Realised

what my weirdness feeling probably was.

Full moon eclipse this am. They always make me a bit funky. Actually didn't sleep at all on Sunday night for no good reason. Usually (I've mentioned this before), I tend to dream a LOT in the few days around both the full moon and new moon (and, for the record, that isn't a self-fulfilling thing; I noticed this a few years back after keeping a long-term dream diary that the dates seemed to cluster together). Last night, I had a couple of weird ones, but the night before...

I should say, that everyone dreams every night, so I guess the more accurate way to say is I tend to remember the ones around the new/full moons better. I think it is because I sleep more lightly.

Other than that, nothing more to say. My days have been incredibly busy in that boring sort of way, if you get my drift. You know, no time to scratch myself but you sure don't want to read a long list of it!

At sword, Monday nights have specialised hand-and-a-half classes after the advanced class. I'm enjoying them, although I have noticed this is one technique that really requires an adjustment on my part compared to what the guys do... my chest gets in the way. I'm learning that if I profile better and bend the elbows a bit, then I can get around it, but still. It's an adjustment. My sword instructor (hi Stephen!) calls the hand-and-a-half the "cunning blade", and that it is. Certainly, it's not the hackNbash weapon Hollywood (and some books) portrays it as. I rather like it.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

It's been a weird weekend

Nothing that weird in events (in fact, it's been a pretty good weekend, all up), just... overall-feeling weird. Like, generally disconnected. No, that's no right.

You know how sometimes you feel a bit like there is that small hush before something... BIG... happens? Like, everything around you has stopped, just a little bit, waiting? Not like anticipation. Not like paranoia. Just like you've taken a deep breath and are holding it for a moment. And something's tickling the edge of your consciousness, demanding to be noticed, but every time you try to look at it, it isn't there. But when you stop looking at it, there it is again.

Like, that weird.

On another note, I watched 21 grams last night.

Shudderingly depressing. Felt the need to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer -- the movie not the series -- just to get the taste of it out of my mouth. Good film though.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Sea Goat

Listening to: Kingdom of Heaven soundtrack. I liked this movie. It's a perfect example of the type I'm always talking about where a production company has taken an historical event and moved the historical figures around in a fashion that still keeps the history vaguely intact. For example, the Sibylla character is a mix of 3 different historical women, and the background of Ibelin was made up out of whole cloth. And by the time the movie was set, the Templars and Hospitallers were actually on different sides than portrayed in the film. However, this (to me) is fine, because the complications involved in getting the facts correct would've made for a difficult movie to watch and a fairly bad story.

It's not like they took the name of a person out of history, declared the movie to be entirely true, and then didin't get any facts at all correct, like, say, oh, that bloody William Wallace movie.

Cough.

The music is quite good. I like it.

Saw Brokeback Mountain last night. More like "broke heart" but anyways. I have to say that whatever awards it's garnering, it probably deserves them. Having said that, I found for a while, there were a lot of events being shoved into a small amount of time, just enough to give me a wee distance from the main characters I didn't like... just enough to just feel a little disconnected from them. Not so much that I wasn't moved by the film, but still.

One thing I really did like about the film is that it treated the subject matter with respect and dignity. So many so-called "gay" films degenerate into making same-sex love into something... what's the word I'm looking for? Seedy. That's not it, but it will do. Brokeback didn't do that.

It is a highly nuanced film, too. It doesn't treat the movie goer like they're stupid. Not everything is spelled out in words of one syllable or less. It meant that, every so often, you'd think "WTF?" until you thought about it for a second. That was good.

Now, why was I here, she wonders uselessly, before running of on my tangent...

Ah. Yes.

For a while there, I was posting bits on the varying different signs. I stopped that, mostly because I got to Libra and didn't feel like I could be fair-handed with the masculine versions of them (my ex is a Libra, and a fairly typical one of the negatively-possessed kind, you know: hypocritical, for those who need to catch up). I don't have that problem any more, but I got bored, so...

Enough of the Air Signs. How about some Earth? Earth covers the Capricorn, the Virgo and the lover-ly Taurus.

I was reading my Mystic Med today:

It's magical thinking week! Yes, you lot are more esoteric than you oft get credit for. Maybe it's your untold past lives that have made you so brilliant at working whatever 'system' you wind up in? Remember that your astro-symbol is the Sea or Mer-Goat. The Full Moon Eclipse is potent - linking back into last March & October. Your objectivity and proper conduct skills will be required. Venus near Chiron brings both insight and cure for ancient angst in the form of self-esteem scars.

(Stop laughing now Nicky :-P)

The Sea Goat. Hmm.

Caps have this reputation of being "mountain goats", you know, self-centred, grasping climbers who will walk all over anyone to get what they want. Even Myst Med should, perhaps, remember her own advice to remember Caps are sea goats (NOT goats), because in her book, she pretty well extols the same stereotype.

I have to say (apart from, indignantly, "Hey!"), in all honesty is that I have never actually met a Cap who is like this. I am close to (or have been close to) four Caps that I can think of off the top of my head right now:

A beautiful and lovely guy by the name of Chris, who was, I thought at the time (aged 16/17), the certified LOML until circumstances beyond my control intervened (and who I would love to know what happened to), Karina, who I've known since high school and am now very happy to be back in contact with again, Edi, gorgeous fellow, who lives in Finland and shares my birthday, and my #5 son, who actually shares Karina's birthday and is cute as. None of them are/were selfish types. All of them would give their right arm for a friend. Walking all over people, not their style.

And I also think (she says ever so slightly defensively) that walking all over someone to get where you want? BAD. In fact, the only person I know who actually thinks this sort of behaviour is actually morally OK (apart from the aforementioned Libran, who actually doesn't believe it's OK but indulges in it anyhow... see? Hypocritical ;-) ) is an Aries. But I digress.

But I will digress after I add this caveat: I love Arians, OK?

So.

Jonathon Cainer says in his "Your Sign - The Truth" (or perhaps I should say "The FACTS". Pftht. Don't ask. :-P)

The Myth:
The textbooks imply that Capricorns are dreadfully dull. They paint these people as seriously sensible, practical planners who are diligent, dedicated and industrious. Allegedly their only aim in life is to get things together and then hold them there. Nowhere in the summary of this sign is there a mention of spontaneity or imagination.

The Truth:
Statistics prove that, if you were born under Capricorn, you are less likely to believe in astrology. Some think that this is because Capricorns are too "down to earth". Actually though, it's because they don't like the description of their sign. And who can blame them? These ambitious high achievers have better things to do with lives than correct moronic misconceptions. Capricorns may be capable characters but they have plenty of mystery and sensitivity in their souls. They also have plenty of fire in their bellies. These passionate, adventurous and mischievous people also just so happen to be highly intelligent.


[my note. The next least-likely-to-believe are Geminis. They're also astrological intellects - who are probably sick of being called "two faced". One beautiful Gemini man I know from Melbourne has even decided he's going to be a Taurus instead (he's on a cusp and I'm not going to go into how that works, but suffice it to say cusp doesn't actually mean you get to straddle signs, sun signs work like a light switch :on or off), he's so tired of it. Never mind that he's an epitomy of wonderful, gorgeous, Geminis! Although Taureans are pretty cool, too].

The Key To Success:
If you are a Capricorn, you belong not to the sign of the goat but to the sign of the sea-goat; a mythical creature that represents "the doorway to another world". Remember this and have more faith in the visions and ideas that constantly flood through your busy brain. Believe in yourself, not the nonsense that they speak about your sign.


There is also a link between the Cap sign and Pan, also known as Puck. This mythical half man-goat has many connotations, evil and good, but more about that in a moment.

Russell Grant has this (among other things) to say about Caps:

Need a good giggle? Get hold of a chuckling Capricorn, then, and let them jolly you along. You'll soon feel better. Gosh, these Goats are grand! They're suffused with such a stunning sense of humour that they'll have you in stitches with their razor-sharp wit and dead-pan brand of magnificent mirth. And what's especially endearing is that they're always the first folk to laugh at themselves.

That's Pan, master of mischief, in play there. Pan (or Puck) is often referred to as the jester of the fairy court; in fact, it is in just this context he appears in Shakespeare's A Midsumer Night's Dream (which I like FAR much more than that Romeo and Juliet drivel hehe).

Pan himself (in his Pan incarnation), was a powerful nature spirit, son of the Greek god Hermes by a Nymph. He wanders the mountains, playing his pipes in groves and woodlands. That's probably where the mountain goat = Cap mythology came from.

You can also see why I really like these English astrologers. ;-)

But Satyrs, Pan, fauns, Puck also have their dark side. In fact, during the medieval period, they were, like other mythological fae, described as "demons". It would be easy to pass this off as being a part of the normal course of all things medieval catholic, but there was probably some basis in this before that period.

"Pan" gave rise to the word "panic". He is also described as a shapeshifter, who most often appears as a horse (related to the Irish Phooka). The derivations of all the diffent names of Puck in most languages come from a word meaning malevolent spirit. Yet, later, he became realated to the good but mischievous Robin Goodfellow (often related to the mythical version of Robin Hood).

The one thing all of the legends agree on is about Puck's lusty nature.

Now, I know a lot about mythology, but I can't say that, before now, I've really looked into the sea goat.

So I googled it.

Interestingly enough, I found my first "real" answer in a rabid, anti-astrological "false gospel in the stars" site. I'm normally not anti-right wing (in fact, I think some people would even call me right wing), but people who misuse both gospellian and historical quotes make my teeth itch, especially when they quote that crap psuedohistory book Holy Blood and Holy Grail (which is about as accurate a history of the Knights Templar as The Da Vinci Code) to try and make a Biblical assertion about astrology, of all things, and who quote the fiction of HP Lovecraft to try and make an historical point... but I digress again. Sigh.

It turns out that the sea goat is another derivation of the Pan spirit, through Vedic astrology (in which the 10th sign is Neptune, and represented by a dolphin), who, along with its opposite, Cancer (hi Nicky!), represent the doorways to another world, or the gates of the gods. The "other world" is believed by this site to be the Greek representation of Hades (which is all the catholic-come-christian version of "Hell" is: the Bible doesn't mention a "hell" at all, in fact, although it does mention a "lake of fire", she adds for the sake of accuracy), as it then goes on to talk about Kronos (ie Saturn, which the site renames Satan) meeting up with Lucifer and destroying the world or some such completely extra-biblical garbage (Satan is meeting himself and destroying the world. Yeah. That makes sense. See my sracastic face now), but the tome this site quotes doesn't seem to be saying this. I can't find any online versions of the original in context, so I can't say.

And I didn't want to continue reading the site. It was blagging my brain. Pseudo intellectulary that use lots of unrelated (mostly true in context) quotes to make a fairly non-existent point tend to do that. I've learned to just walk away, or I'd be debating with them in my head all day. I've probably not mentioned before that I actually have a pentecostal Christian background, enough of one to see where these people are taking truth - or facts, sigh - and twisting them into something that is a complete fabrication of Biblical theorem. It always annoys me when people of any religion misuse their own holy books to suppress the ignorant. Maybe that's why I like studying the medieval period so much. It's a microcosm of Biblical misuse and forced illiteracy used to suppress the ignorant. But enough of that.

I much preferred This Christian site, which actually did away with the false demonology and looked at it with a little more sanity.

Another site said this:

Capricorn was identified with the Assyrian Kunaxa, the Goat-Fish; and we see other probable names in Shah or Shahu, the Ibex, and in Niru, the Yoke. It is identified with The Goat-Fish, known in pre Babylonian times with the god Ea/Oannes 'The Antelope of the Subterranean Ocean', 'He of the vast intellect', 'Lord of the Sacred Eye', 'God of Wisdom'. Berossus describes Oannes as follows: "At Babylon there was a great resort of people of various nations who inhabited Chaldaea and lived in a lawless manner like the beasts of the field. In the first year there appeared from that part of the Erythraean sea which borders Babylonia, an animal destitute of reason, by the name of Oannes, whose whole body was that of a fish; that under the fish's head he had another head, with feet also below, similar to those of a man, subjoined to the fish's tail. His voice too, and language was articulate and human; and a representation of him is preserved even to this day. This Being was accustomed to pass the day among men; but took no food at that season; and he gave them an insight into letters and sciences and arts of every kind. He taught them to construct cities, to found temples, to compile laws and explained to them the principles of geometrical knowledge. He made them distinguish the seeds of the earth and showed them how to collect the fruits; in short he instructed them in everything which could tend to soften manners and humanize their lives. From that time, nothing material has been added in the way of improvement to his instructions. When the sun had set, this Being, Oannes, retired again into the sea and passed the night in the deep; for he was amphibious. After this there appeared other animals like Oannes". He is also said to have emerged four times, at long intervals, from the subterranean ocean to teach men the arts of civilization. When he appears, it is in human form, wearing a fish-tailed cloak. After educating mankind, he returns to the waters as darkness falls. [STA p.LXXV-c].

Ea/Oannes is responsible for saving mankind from the Flood. The story in which he tells the Sumerian Noah, Uta-Napishtim, to build an ark, is much the same as the Bible's version of the great disaster.


Interesting.

I wonder what it means when you have the sun in Cap and your moon in Cancer?

Friday, March 10, 2006

Synchronicity

I thought I'd go for a bit of a drive yesterday to pay my lovely mechanic up where I used to live. I love my mechanic (in the "he's amazing with my car" way. Gods, English...). Was the last bill I had to pay, so I'm now completetly debt free. I like that.

He was pleased to see me, apparently. So pleased that he offered a service to my new car on the spot. "Right now. Give me 45 minutes." I figured he's missed me. after all, the work that had to be done on my Tarago over the 2 years before I moved down here paid for a new drywall in his workshop, and new uniforms, too, apparently.

Anyway, so I went for a walk through Pomona, thought I'd drop in on my real estate agent. Bought my house from them; they sold my house for me. We socialised.

So, I'm thinking I'll take "lost my house" off my 2005 list as a "failure". Apparently, I sold at just the right time.

They're planning to build a freeway 100 metres from my old house.

I knew I'd moved at the right time, but, sheesh.

Oh, and Andrew (my mechanic, obviously; keep up) thinks I made an excellent purchase. And undercharged me. Actually, I'm thinking an hour's drive up there every 5000kms or so is not too much trouble. It's hard to find a trustworthy mechanic these days...

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

This was a defensive post and I know it. ;-)

Listening to: Tears for Fears. Help! 80s flashbacks! Booyeah.....

I googled "agape". Mostly because I'm pretty sure that sweet little "for fun" meme didn't get the definition right. ;-) Also because I also didn't really know wth "storge" is. (I still maintain it's a vegetable). And because I think someone - who shall remain nameless, but who, for once, isn't Scott - is making fun of me...

From this site.

How do I love thee? Let me count the six ways.

In 1976, researcher John Lee conducted extensive interviews with people to discover what the word "love" meant to them.

He learned, of course, that love means different things to different people. Lee concluded that humans think of love in six separate ways. He labeled these love forms with Greek nouns.

Eros Love: Eros refers to the romantic love that has tremendous passion, physical longing, deep intensity, and intimacy.

Ludas Love: Ludas is called game-playing love. It is like the love of a knight for a princess. There are playful interactions here but little intimacy or deep intensity.

Storge Love: Storge exemplifies friendship-based love. There is strong companionship and shared values here but little physical intimacy.

Pragma Love: Pragma, a combination of storge and ludus love, refers to practical or logical love in which someone actively searches for a partner with certain characteristics.

Mania Love: Mania is a combination of eros and ludus love. It is also known as the troubled love. This love has jealousy and dependence (often called co-dependency), great intensity, some intimacy, and many psychological symptoms related to the relationship.

Agape Love: Agape is also a blend of two other types of love, eros and storge. This is the love of altruism, of giving without asking anything in return, and of sacrificing oneself for one's partner. Many would consider it to be the purest form of love.

All couples share some of each of these forms of love. However, some individuals and thus, couples, focus more on certain types of love styles.

How do male loves and females love? Probably not the way you think of love styles and gender.

Researchers discovered that men tend to view love more in terms of the romantic, intense eros love, or the game-playing love of ludas. Women often have a more logical outlook in the practical pragma love.

Texas Tech psychology professors Clyde Hendrick, PhD, and Susan Hendrick, PhD make the study of love and sexuality their life’s work, They emphasize that a blend of love and sexual styles exist within each individual, and these love styles can change during a relationship. Their research also shows that lovers with similar love styles tend to stay together more often than those with differing love styles.


So, not chaste at all. :-P

Sex, passion and friendship, what could be better, huh???

(Gods. There's that mouth again. Where did that come from? Officially, I eschew love. See? This is my "chewing" face).

hehe.

I would argue, like the Texans, that we all have different tendencies to love depending on who we're with, and how we're feeling at the time. *shrugs* I could be wrong. Then there's what our style is, and what we wish it could be. Not always the same, I guess.

The Ancient Greeks themselves had 4 different definitions of love - the aforementioned "agape", "eros" and and "storge" are three, but one the modern-day pundits have left out is "Phileo" or "Philios" love -- that love which mankind needs to survive (see my previous posts on Lone Wolves and dead babies and other stuff of my "man is a herd animal" contention).

Greek versions of scripture expound all of these - philio is, I guess what we would call "brotherly" love and refers to the need of us all to be accepted and cared for in an affectionate, non-sexual way. It is the love of friendship - but, they reckon, the most selfish of the lot - the "I will like you if you will like me" sort of thing. Or, put more bluntly, the "So, what's in it for me?" love. That's the kind of love that in its negative expression, sees that someone isn't worth loving, you know, "Aha! This person is human! They are not perfect! Therefore I must not love them!" In its positive form, it doesn't expect anything but affection.

Mania is, I think, what Hollywood has us believe is "real" love. Oh, and I'm going to add Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet to that one, too. It's all got to be highly emotional, sparky and full of conflict [we hated each other to start with, and then... well, you know, proximity and scriptwriters, couldn't help ourselves] or, alternatively, joined at the hip, or it isn't "real". Historically, this is the sort of stuff written about or filmed most frequently... and of course it is.

Why? Because the "hook" in all sorts of writing is conflict. Any first year-crit group writer can tell you that: Open with conflict, or there is no story. There needs to be a reason that something can't happen, or there is no character change or what-have-you to make it happen.

And at this point I've changed the title of this post from "is" to "was" because I've managed to segue (HA!) into an actual writing topic.

And... uh... what was I saying? Uh, yeah. If you try and bring the Hollywood attitude into RL, then the problems start. People can't accept each other for who they are (I'm presuming there's no pressing reason why someone should change, you know, like they're a raving alcoholic or child abuser), get all dramatic and can't deal with each other. And hurt each other a lot (cf my marriage). and compare their could-have-been-content lives with frickin' Romeo and Juliet and conclude that they don not have a "deep love" as a result. "The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet". Clue there, folks: both of those protagonists, you know, DIED. Not really healthy, geddit? They could've actually sorted it out if they'd gotten out of the manic stage and thought twice about what they were doing. Lust alone (while certainly a part of every good & healthy relationship and nothing to be sneered at) doesn't = love.

But then, there would be no story, see?

Again, I bemoan the nature of the English language to suck at emotional themes.

Mind you, I think the whole "love at first sight"/reading minds thing does happen. Having said that, I think it truly happens to those elderly couples who have spent 50 years of friendship, romance, respect, intimacy and caring together and can still look at each other and love, at first sight.

Having said That, I think many so-called "chick flicks" hit the nail on the head. There's nothing whatsoever wrong with romance (even though I "officially" thumb my nose at it, I suspect that's because I've never had a lot of it hehe). But if you look at it more closely, these films show couples using alot of respect and admiration, and, essentially, treating another human being like they're special to them. There's nothing mystical in that. Magic, yes. But no mystery there. It's not even difficult, really. Give it very little time, and it's easy to adore. :-) Intimacy isn't too hard, either, and in chick flick world doesn't actually refer to sex. It's, you know, being able to trust another person with those details you don't ever want anyone else to know, ever. And knowing they will never, ever, ever use that horrible inside person we all have in there against you.

And I'm going to add, here, that all of the best "chick flicks", I believe, do the "I fell in love with my friend" thing, anyhow, and pretty much avoid the mania crapola all together. Examples include "You've Got Mail", "Strictly Ballroom", "Suddenly 30", "While You Were Sleeping", to name some of my favourites. Even the Cordelia storyline in Angel (which is SO much more interesting than the Buffy storyline) went that way.

Oh, oh, oh! I found Northern Exposure at JB!!! All three seasons! Woohoo!

Congratulate me

Today is the first anniversary of my divorce being nisi'ed.

:-D

I guess it seems strange, to some, to be celebrating what seems, on the surface, to be a "failure", but anyone who has been reading here for a while will understand why.

Oh, and since I was offline, I didn't say: my property settlement finally went through - in January (you may recall my post last August saying it was finally done? Uh - nope. Long, boring story). Hoi vey! Talk about rigamarole.

Edit: Thankyou for my e-card, Nicky!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Oh! I should mention the CS Team

Robert Dobson, Kate Eltham, Robert Hoge and I have been nominated for another Ditmar for Best Professional Achievement for Clarion South! I say this only to acknowledge the excellent work of my colleagues, of course (I'm just the lowly applications director).

Ditmar voting has begun. If you're a member of the 2006 NatCon (Conjure, Brisbane, 2006, again, for anyone who's moved from Mars to Xena and needs an update), then you can vote for the winners. Eve if you can't make it to the convention itself, if you have a suporting membership (just $20) you can still vote.

More info at the Conjure website.

Speaking of Clarion, it's worth mentioning that applications for Clarion South, January-February 2007 are now OPEN. More details Here.

Monday, March 06, 2006

I've decided

... that I really like the word "segue". I've been trying to figure out how I can work that word into general conversation, but even I am not that pretentious, so I guess I'll just have to work out a way I can legitimately use it in my blog.

Or my book/s.

Thing is, I can't think of how. Suggestions welcome.

Ok, there is a good reason for my brain fry-age. I think I've mentioned, somewhere, that I'm programming "head" of Conjure, which means I
1. Don't have time to clean my house properly, or nag the kids to clean my house properly. This bugs me, but I'm not obsessive about it. Did get my poor graden weeded during the rain this week. Almost weeded. Got wet. Got muddy.
2. Am rather fractrated, attention-wise
and
3.have a couple (hehe) of emails to send re panels. 107, it turns out. I'm doing quite well, up to 32. I would've managed more yesterday, but I had the last day of filming to do for a film we're putting together for the Ditmar awards. We've decided to make the awards rather special this year.

Then I was, uh, distracted for a couple of hours. I love phone calls. :-D Especially those long languorous calls that go on for hours that you can have while you're wandering around the house. I have new phone. Phone actually works (unless the person on the other end of the line goes into their fridge, for some reason: take note for future reference there, Nicky... ;-)). Phone is wee hand-held that doesn't tie you down to the line. Me happy. Me always talk in stupid short sentences when me happy.

On a completely unrelated note, I miss Captain Caveman.

Uh. Bye.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Bleh






my style of love is:
AGAPE
To me, love is chaste and selfless and spiritual.
what's your style of love?
| mewing.net. where love goes to die.


I was borderline "Storge" (you know, love-based-in-friendship). Mostly true-ish, I suppose. Except for the chaste bit. Once one is officially bonded, love should never be chaste... with them, I mean. ;-)

(Gods. Close mouth, engage brain. Close mouth, engage brain).

The Full lyrics of the song

The song I quoted the lyrics from on my 2005 wrap-up is not a well-known one. I actually didn't buy it until 2006, and it's part of a compilation from a Roswell soundtrack (I am going to presume it comes from season 3, because I own seasons 1 & 2 and I'd never heard it before. I shall find out on March 15, when Season 3 finally comes out. Yay). As a whole, it doesn't, strictly speaking, answer the question, but those lines did.

Anyhow, the song is "I Shall Believe", sung by Sheryl Crow. Written by Sheryl Crow and Bill Bottrell, copyright 1993 A&M Records, Inc.

I Shall Believe

Come to me now, and lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie, say it will be all right
And I shall believe

I'm broken in two, and I know you're on to me
That I only come home, when I'm so all alone
And I do believe

That not everything is gonna be the way you think it oughta be
It seems like every time I try to make it right it all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe

Open the door and show me your face tonight
I know it's true, no one heals me like you
And you hold the key

Never again will I turn away from you
I'm so happy tonight that your love is all right
And I do believe

That not everything is gonna be the way you think it oughta be
It seems like every time I try to make it right it all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
And I shall believe

That not everything is gonna be the way you think it oughta be
It seems like every time I try to make it right it all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
And I shall believe

Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
I shall believe (etc)


It's not a bad little soundtrack, although some of the songs, tha sound OK on first listening, get annoying after a while (an example would be track 6 "Fear (Hybrid's Super Collider Mix) Edit", performed by Sarah McLachlan. This was used to good effect in the Pilot episode (before Dido's "Here With Me" - one of my favourite songs - became the theme song) but as a whole is wearing to the ear. Yes, even the Backstreet Boys are better. ;-) "Brothers and sisters", Coldplay, is on the CD,; it has a nice guitar rif, which is probably the reason for its use. I do like another song, "Save Yourself" by Sense Field - I think every teenaged girl and young adult female (and one older supposedly adult female who shall remain nameless but who knows who she is) should listen to this song, because as a piece of advice from a bunch of blokes, it's rather effective:

Save Yourself (9.01 version)
Written by John Bunch, Chris Evenson, John Stockberger, Rodney Sellers and Robert Pfeiffer. Copyright 2001 Nettwork America LLC

Turn out the light
Just say goodnight to yourself
May I remind you when you find you're all alone's when you
You've got to be strong
That's when they call you in the night
He's got your picture in his mind
He's got your number on a paper
That is disposable any time

Is he really true
Could you save yourself for someone who could love you for you?
So many times we just give it away
For someone who
Someone who

You met in a bar; the back of a car
And for a moment, you felt important, but not in your heart
'Cos my self esteem, it's been low
Go ahead and count; it's been lower than low
I know the feeling of it stealing life out from under me

'Cos I want to learn
Have you saved yourself for someone who'll love you for you?
So many times we just give it away
To someone who won't even remember your name
Could you save yourself for someone who'll love you for you?
And loves me for me
Give it away to someone who
Someone who will cherish your name

'Cos I want to learn
Have you saved yourself for someone who'll love you for you?
So many times we just give it away
To someone who couldn't even remember your name
Could you save yourself for someone who loves you for you?
And loves me for me
Give it away to someone who
Someone who would cherish your name

(Not sure why they call it the 9.01 version; it only goes for 3.19)

Back to it. I have panel stuff to finish for Conjure (for anyone who's been on Mars, that's the National SF Convention, Brisbane, April 14 - 17 2006. More information: click here). This is one main reason I haven't written any long boring spiels on what I've been doing for the last 4 months!

Oh, and Scott? Update! :-P

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Hi Liz!

Yes, I've missed you (online) as well. *grin*

Speaking of new music (which was on yesterday's survey, so I was, a bit), I must be insane. I actually bought a CD by the Back Street Boys. Worse, I'm actually enjoying it.

My 13 year-old -- almost 14 -- (that would be #2 for those trying to keep track, Hi Nicky :-P) heard me playing it, comes over and says, "Mum are you listening to the Back Street Boys???"

"Uh-huh," I say, accurately as it turns out.

"Mum, I am very concerned for you. Honestly."

Blank look.

His eyes roll. "I give up. There's no helping you."

Yeah, but I already knew that, see. ;-)

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Hi Eug

One person loves me. :-)

Some catching up to do, but can't really do it now as I have sword tonight. But, I figured I did one of these last year (see Jan 2005 archives) so I may as well do it again:

2005 Wrap Up

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?

Started living in Brisbane. Got divorced.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any, and I won't.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My godfather died in late November.

5. What countries did you visit?
This year, I hope!

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
The In Love Crapola.

7. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 8, Decree Nisi. The why is self-evident.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Along with Rob Hoge, Kate Eltham and Rob Dobson, we won a Ditmar for "Best Professional Achievement" for Clarion South 2005 at NatCon 2005 (Thylacon).

9. What was your biggest failure?
I lost my house.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes. I got pneumonia in June.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My new car. It's so cute.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My sons and daughter, for their ongoing ways of bringing joy & chaos to my life.
Friends & family too numerous to mention, online and off... don't want to start for fear of forgetting someone. You know who you are.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
My ex, again. Appalled but not depressed. He hasn't that effect on me any more.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent. Food. Swords! Oh, and $11,000 to my divorce lawyer. Ack!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My daughter auditioned for a National Choir and got in. I started sword lessons. One of my sons scored 87 runs and got 5 wickets at cricket. A friend got engaged. No, 2 friends! And another 2 friends became a couple.

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
None in particular, I listen to too much of it.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?

Happier.
ii. thinner or fatter?
18 kilos thinner (only 20 to go hehe)
iii. richer or poorer?
Moneywise, richer. Friendswise, ditto.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
My bloody novels.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Wasting time on unrequited crapola.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Went to Canberra and spent it with my dad, brother, niece and nephew.

21. Who -- of importance to you now -- did you meet for the first time?
Stephen, Ken, Chris, Wayne and other sword fellers.

22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
No.

23. How many one-night stands?
None. I don't do one-nighters.

24. What was your favourite TV program?
Urgh. Lost? None, really, that I didn't already see.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
(this is a reprint of last years' because nothing's changed). Without trying to sound like an arse, I don't hate anyone. I dislike the odd person, like but mistrust one or two, feel uncomfortable with a couple and have no feelings at all for others, but I don't hate anyone. Who's got the energy or time?

26. What was the best book you read?
Anything (and everything) by Michael Wood and Sean Williams.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
No-one new.

28. What did you want and get?
Didn't want much.

29. What did you want and not get?
See "unrequited crapola" ;-)

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I didn't have one. Liked many, didn't have a favourite. No, wait... it was early in the year, Phantom of the Opera.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I had dinner with friends, did Clarion duties, and 34. this is always a hard thing to remember, because my birthday is in January and I'm now 35!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not a thing. Maybe the property settlement thing could've gone through more quickly.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
Too big? What do you mean, it's too big!!?

34. What kept you sane?
More like "who". You know who you are.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I must admit to, now, a giant crush on Sean Williams. I can say this because he's a sweetie. :-D

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
For the record: if I am in a vegetative state, I do NOT want my feeding tube removed so I can dehydrate and starve to death, OK?????

37. Who did you miss?
(Still) My paternal grandfather, who died when I was 16. My dad & brother and a couple of friends from Canberra.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Stephen, Ken, Chris, Wayne :-D

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005.
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love... and this includes allowing them the freedom not love you back without recrimination or doubts or the end of a friendship. It also means doing so without thinking something is wrong with me [still learning that one, though, I must admit, she's just discovered].

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Promise me you won't give up on me, and I will believe."